Barbara smashed her fist into her hand, stomped her
sensibly-heeled foot, her helmet hair bouncing slightly over her ruddy
forehead.
“That’s what taxpayers want to see. Educators must be held accountable for
student progress.”
She pulled a tiny remote control from her suit pocket,
pressed a button a few times until the powerpoint on the screen behind her
advanced to the next slide.
“You can see here, clearly, how student completion rates are
on the decline. This points to a lack of
responsible instruction.”
There was a grumble from the audience. Someone yelled out, “Maybe it’s because of the
budget cuts to tutoring and student support services!”
“When services are not providing the needed outcomes, they
will need to be cut,” Barbara said. “Taxpayers do not want to pay for sub-part
education.”
By the time the presentation was over, people in the back
were booing and hissing. Not the people in front—they were too scared. As head of the accrediting commission, she
could have their schools shut down if they didn’t meet her standards. Which none of them did. So the least they could do was play nice.
She was walked to her car by a conference volunteer, a
young, pimply guy whose skinny shoulders didn’t quite fill out his jacket. He carried her briefcase, handed it to her as
she used her keys to popopen the trunk of her Mercedes.
“Why do you do it?” he asked.
“Because of Mrs. Luchini,” she said.
“Mrs. Luchini?”
“Mrs. Lucchini was the worst history teacher in the history
of the Menlo-Atherton school district.
And she gave me a D.”
“What did you do to her?” A razor edge of terror sliced
through his voice.
“I got her fired.”
Barbara’s brown lipstick stretched into a smile. “She’ll never fail
another hard working student again.”
Hello? How can I love you more for writing this?: " sensibly-heeled foot, her helmet hair bouncing slightly over her ruddy forehead. " How funny is that?
ReplyDeleteAs I'm laughing at this caricature of a woman, I, too, like the young pimply conference volunteer, felt a shudder, when Barbara concluded with her final line :“She’ll never fail another hard working student again.”
Damn girl. Loved it. So short and such a statement!
How can you make fun of outcomes? ; )
ReplyDeleteFunny, funny stuff! And timely. Can we put this on the overhead at our next Town Hall meeting?
This line says it all: “When services are not providing the needed outcomes, they will need to be cut.” Makes perfect sense. In Opposite World.
Can you hear that in the distance? It's outcome-based pay for teachers! And America's Next Top Teacher competitions! "Four Baltimore classrooms. Four teachers. Who can be the first to get their class to do as they're told? Tune in next time..."
This totally cracked me up. I liked this description because it really gives the readers a good idea what kind of person this Barbara really ise: She was walked to her car by a conference volunteer, a young, pimply guy whose skinny shoulders didn’t quite fill out his jacket. He carried her briefcase, handed it to her as she used her keys to popopen the trunk of her Mercedes.
ReplyDelete